Boyfriend vs. Husband: Why Did He Change After Marriage?

Dilemma (First-Person Perspective - Wife’s POV)

*"I remember when we first started dating—he was romantic, thoughtful, and always looking for ways to make me smile. I’d wake up to good morning texts, random love notes, and surprise dates just because he wanted to make me happy. Fast forward to today, we’re married, and everything feels… different.

Now, instead of sweet messages, I wake up to ‘Did you pay the gas bill?’ Instead of surprise dates, it’s ‘Let’s just order takeout.’ I don’t remember the last time he planned something special for us. Even the way he looks at me has changed. It’s not that I don’t love him, but I can’t help but wonder—where did the man I fell in love with go? Did marriage change him? Or did he just stop trying?

I don’t want to sound ungrateful. He still works hard, provides for us, and is a good husband in many ways, but I miss the excitement, the little things that made me feel special. I tried bringing it up, but he says, ‘We’re married now, things are just different.’ But why? Why does marriage have to mean the romance dies?

Is this normal? Or am I expecting too much? And more importantly—can we bring back what we had, or is this just the reality of marriage?”*

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Episode Introduction

Marriage is supposed to be an evolution, but for many couples, it can feel like a downgrade. Today, we’re discussing:

 Why Do Some Men Change After Marriage? – Is it comfort, societal expectations, or just natural evolution?

 Does Romance Have an Expiration Date? – We’ll talk about whether love just "matures" or if people actually stop putting in effort.

 How to Get the Spark Back – Practical ways to rekindle the romance and make both partners feel valued again.

By the end of this episode, you’ll understand what really happens when the boyfriend becomes a husband, why the shift occurs, and how to prevent it from turning into a relationship crisis.

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3 Actionable Goals for Couples Facing This Problem

 Communicate Needs Without Criticism – Instead of saying “You never do anything romantic anymore,” try, “I really miss when we used to go on spontaneous dates. Can we bring that back?”

 Make Time for Intentional Effort – Set a recurring ‘date night’ (even at home), and alternate who plans it.

 Reignite the Playfulness – Bring back what made you fall in love in the first place, whether it’s playful teasing, inside jokes, or small thoughtful gestures.

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